Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and think about what someone said to you and then replay the entire event and think how you really wish you would have said something different? I usually wake up around 5am every single morning without an alarm clock (yes it’s annoying), but that is usually my thinking time where I plan out my day. Sometimes, like last night instead of thinking about positive thoughts and my day, I think about the people in my life who I have literally allowed to suck the energy out of me.

It’s frustrating because when I let my mind wonder like I did last night, I replay over and over the things that one person or a few people said to me that were just down right rude and energy stealing. I get so mad at myself for not defending myself and for not saying exactly what I wanted to say the moment I wanted to say it. I’m usually very cordial and don’t want to ruffle any feathers. You might be like this too, and you know what, you’re allowing other people to take your energy. Just like I do.

I let people make me feel bad for my accomplishments. I mean I have literally had people tell me that since I graduated with my Master’s degree that they think I think I am better than them. Hence, I think in my mind, “why in the world should I feel bad for working my ass off and doing this for myself?”I haven’t changed my personality from before I got my master’s to after. I am still the same person. Are people just perceiving me this way because I actually went out and did it? Should I really feel bad for reaching a goal? The answer is no, obviously and yet I still feel guilty when others feel like this around me.

I have pretty much come to the conclusion that some people DO NOT want to see you do well. They openly may wish you well but in the back of their minds, they want to see you hit rock bottom, fail and then lose all of your money because it will make them feel better about their lives. Its’ sad, it really is.

Another thing that I feel is a catch 22 is how women treat one another. We all preach about how we want to see women succeed and how women need equal pay, and need to be executives. BUT and that’s a big BUT, when they see a close friend actually doing those things you know what the first thing is that they say? “She thinks she’s too good for us, she’s materialistic, she thinks she’s perfect.” And then you’re over there thinking, “huh, I just went for my goals and accomplished them. Why can’t we all just support one another for whatever each of us want to do?”

It’s very frustrating because all I want, is for each and every single person in my life to do WHATEVER their hearts desire. Whether it’s to be a millionaire, or start an orphanage or volunteer all their time, or to be president. I want to see you do that. Let’s knock life out of the park together. Let’s not drag one another down because of our own hidden agendas.

I have made a vow to myself, and I recommend you doing this for yourself as well. I vow to defend myself when appropriate or to know that when I decide to keep my mouth shut, that doing so only helps to lift my energy because it isn’t worth trying to change other people’s mind who don’t want to be changed. I vow to myself to live my dreams and not worry about what others think of me because I know I only have one life to live. Besides, other people’s opinions will never get you to your goals. Only you can reach your goals and a lot of the time, that means surpassing other peoples negative energy with your focus and hard work.

So to the ladies that read this, who spend countless hours not sleeping thinking about what others say about you, rock on… go reach your dreams and who gives a damn what anyone else says about what you’re doing. You got this.